Learning How To Endure

Real talk

         Don’t you enjoy seeing the happiness among couple when they first start dating? You always see them together, every free moment they’re always on the phone talking to each other, and you see a certain glow about them when they talk about each other. It’s no secret that one of the best times when you first meet that special someone there is some amazing taking place.  A person could possibly have found their soul mate, friend, and possibly the person that they’re going to marry. The question that I always love to ask is what happens when things get tough and what you had in the beginning of when you met each other is somehow lost. Most people would say we would work it out! We would fight until the end! The next questions I would ask is do you know how to work through conflict with the person who you profess to love and care for with all your heart? Ultimately most people would find someone new in hopes of finding what they had with the last person that they were in relationship with. Most people try to avoid conflict at all cost so they do this by finding the happiness that they once had. Although there is nothing wrong with following your heart, I would caution the person in this situation to check with their “heart” to see if they want to start something new or just work on creating the happiness with what they already have. The first thing that would be important to do before you start searching for something better is first communicate with the person you are in relationship with. Communication can be very difficult if the atmosphere in the relationship is conducive to the people who are in the relationship. What this simply means is that there have to be clear expectations set up front from both partners so that there can be something accomplished after the conversation. For example, there will be no put downs, no cursing, no yelling, and each person will have their chance to speak. It would also be helpful to set a time limit on the conversation. If the issue is not resolved after the end of the discussion, then set another time to speak again. The purpose for doing so is to have an understanding of why there are some issues in the relationship. Secondly, realizing from the beginning that there might be conflict down the road is very important. That is why it is so important for couples to understand how to work through difficult issues. When two people can work through hard times, it actually makes the relationship or marriage even strong. One thing that is very helpful for understanding how to work through conflict is doing a daily devotional together. I believe that having a spiritual foundation is very important. Sometimes couples have to go beyond themselves to work through difficult situations. Once people learn how to connect on a spiritual level then working through things such as problems in the relationship will more than likely have better results. I always encourage couples to pray with each other as a way of becoming close with each other. Lastly, remember that the relationship or marriage you have with a person can become what you want it to become. If you want the best relationship or marriage, then you have to pour your best into your relationship or marriage. What happens sometimes is that people fail to do this only to discover after the break-up 3 years later that a new person is giving them what you could have gave them while you both were together. I will admit that there have been times where I haven’t always given my best in my marriage, it was through communicating with my wife and praying to God that I started to grow as a husband and give my wife more than what I gave her when we first met. The beauty of when you fight for the person you are with they will start to see the strength that you poses and love you even more. Don’t put off today what you can start doing now to, in order to the happiness that your heart desire.


About nuamazinglife

Brandon Jackson is a writer, public speaker, relationship coach, and educator from Indianapolis, Indiana. After graduating from North Central High School in Indianapolis, Brandon attended Morris Brown College in Atlanta. He then transferred to Vincennes University where he received his Associates Degree in General Studies. In 2002 he graduated from Indiana State University with a degree in Radio &TV/Film. Brandon also attended Christian Theological Seminary where he studied for his Master’s in Marriage Family Counseling. Brandon believes that success in life begins when you know how to love yourself first and when you can love others regardless of their flaws. Brandon has spoken at various churches, colleges and universities throughout the Midwest. Brandon also recently was a part of a panel at the 2011 Women’s Expo that featured actor Larenz Tate & Pastor Anthony Jackson. Brandon realizes that everything he has is because of God and he doesn’t take for granted the blessings that are in his life. Brandon’s goal as a speaker is to carry his message of how singles can find happiness and how marriage can be a goal for couples who desire it. Brandon has a DVD out entitled “Success in Your Relationship: a look at being single, dating, and marriage” and is currently working on a book entitled “From a Man’s Heart: Becoming the Man Your Woman Desires.”
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